What’s In A Name?

What’s in a name?  Well, if it’s like many of the names young parents are coming up with recently, there’s a whole lot of potential for teasing.  I recently read an article on-line that listed some of the top baby names that we would be seeing in 2016.  I could not believe when I read one of them, Kale.  Really?  You’re going to name your child after lettuce?  Yes, at least it is one of the more nutritious breed of leafy green vegetables, but still…it’s lettuce.  I guess if a certain actress can name her child after a piece of fruit, why not a vegetable, and a trendy one to boot?

Being the self-proclaimed nerd that I am, I was curious to see what a classroom full of children named after various types of lettuce would look like, and let me tell you, it will be one awesome salad!  Roll call just might be too much excitement for an avid vegetarian.  You would see the more commonplace leaves, Iceberg (cue quotes from “Titanic”), Arugula, Radicchio, Romaine, and Bibb.  Meet the twins, Crisphead and Butterhead whose parents should be given the Worst Parents of the Year award for basically enabling bullies to be lazy…they won’t even have to try to make fun of those names.  I pity the child who must live life (at least until he is able to legally change his name) as Little Leprechaun, although no one will ever be at a loss for a cute nickname for Little Lep.  The child christened, Devil’s Tongue, must have been a little imp even before he was born to warrant a name like that.  And coming to the last name on the menu, I mean roster, Hyper Red Rumple (yes…that is an actual type of lettuce).  Do I even need to comment on this one?

Obviously, I am being quite silly here, but if we step back and look at some of the names that babies are coming home with, is Endive really that far out there?  For the most part, I believe that the driving force behind the trend for outrageous names is a desire for these children to stand out and have unique names.  These parents most likely do not want their child to get lost in a sea of ten other Olivia’s, Sophia’s, Liam’s, and Noah’s (I myself was in a class of four Megan’s at one time, in a grade school class which included less than twenty girls), however I do believe there is such a thing as TOO unique, and if you ask me, that thing is the name Kale.


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